Healing and Hope After Miscarriage

What is one thing that brings heartbreak and panic to some but joy and happiness to others? 

A positive pregnancy test!  However, sometimes that joyful start can lead you down a road of heartbreak.   

If you are reading this I am guessing heartbreak is your experience and you are searching for answers to your questions, wondering how to heal, and searching for hope.  

In this article I will touch on my personal experience with two miscarriages in the past 15 months, what to expect throughout a miscarriage, and a few simple steps to healing and hope after miscarriage.

There is healing and hope to be found through seeking guidance, giving grace, setting goals, and practicing gratitude so that you can turn this heartbreak into a surprise blessing.

Loss is hard.  Your emotions and thoughts can weigh you down.  However you can take charge of your mindset and find hope and healing after miscarriage through a daily practice of writing out gratitude and goals.  

Grab your FREE Goals and Gratitude Journal Page by clicking the button above to join Dawn Zurcher’s Women at the Wellness Facebook Group so I can deliver this freebie to you.

 Plus then you get the added bonus of being in a community where you can seek guidance as you navigate your grief.  I am here for you!  

What to Expect Physically-My Experience

Healing and hope after miscarriage photo shoot

Pregnancy picture taken just 3 days before we had our appointment and found out the baby hadn’t survived.  I was growing, feeling all the morning sickness, and had no reason to suspect our first appointment would be bad news.  

I have had 3 successful pregnancies without experiencing a loss but that all change the end of March 2021.   

Before my first loss I remember being so grateful I had no issues with carrying my babies.  It seemed almost everyone in my circles had experienced at least one miscarriage or even stillbirth in their journey to adding children to their family.  

In fact miscarriages happen at about 10-15% for under 35 year old and 20-35% for women 35-45 years old (which is where I now fell in the age bracket.)

I had no reason to worry having had 3 sweet girls already and was happy about getting to add our final 4th right on my planned schedule which was before I turned 40.  

However, I had a feeling things weren’t right with this baby from the beginning because I was experiencing spotting occasionally. 

 I tried to talk it away as implantation bleeding but when the bleeding became heavier around the 8 week mark I made an emergency appointment to get in to the doctor. 

My fears were confirmed that the baby didn’t have a heartbeat and had only survived to about 6 weeks of age.  

Spotting happened in my first trimester with all my other babies.  However this time it was different in its frequency and then in the amount.  


When the doctor gives you the news it is almost surreal.  I felt overwhelmed and numb and barely heard what they were telling me.

I do remember they offered me choices. 

Let my body naturally complete the miscarriage
Take home a drug that I would use to begin the process of completing the miscarriage
Schedule a D & C (Dilation and Curettage) a procedure where they remove the tissue in your uterus. 

I chose to let my body naturally take care of it.  

This meant that my miscarriage decided to complete while I was checking out at the grocery store.  

I was not prepared for the amount of blood.  It made quite a mess in my car on the way home despite having a pad.  

I probably fell into the doctors advice that if you fill a pad within an hour go to the ER. However, I had my 3 kids and groceries to put away so I rode it out at home sitting on the toilet for over an hour.    

Within an hour and a half the bleeding slowed enough to be able to leave the throne room.  Period like bleeding continued for about a week.

During that time I felt fatigued.   

Healing and hope after miscarriage anemia

I was extremely anemic after my 2nd miscarriage where I had to go to the hospital and get a transfusion and emergency D & C to stop the bleeding.  

Still waiting for my Rainbow Baby

My second miscarriage happened on the end of January 2022.  This pregnancy seemed so much more viable.  I was growing, feeling strong morning sickness, and had no strange spotting. 

That is why it hit both my husband and I like a train when at our appointment there was again no heartbeat.  The baby had lived to about 8.5 weeks this time…just a few days before the appointment.  

Since my body handled it fine last time we opted to naturally let it happen again.  Everything happened very similar in that I experienced spotting and light bleeding for about 24 hours and then a huge gush of blood but that is when things got different.  

After 2 hours of profuse bleeding I started to get worried and noticed my heart rate was climbing.  It was at 120 bpm with me just sitting and not moving.  We decided to go to the ER.

The OB cleared my cervix of the miscarriage when and thought everything looked good.  He gave me medicine to slow the bleeding and I was to go home.  Unfortunatly, I continued to bleed and my blood pressure crashed.  

After a emergency transfusion and D & C procedure, I was discharged with my hemoglobin levels being at 7.  I was so anemic that I could barely lift my arms and it took 6 weeks to feel back to normal.

Do not hesitate to go to the ER if you think you are bleeding heavily. 

Physically your body has gone through a lot.  Make sure you take time to heal after a miscarriage. 

Hydrate!  
Rest
Eat nourishing foods full of protein and iron to help build your body back up

What to Expect with Emotions After Miscarriage

Grief can be so debilitating.  Yet, everyone experiences it at many points in life from losing a loved one, an opportunity,  a way of life due to illness or accident, or from losing an unborn baby.  

However there is are steps for healing and hope after miscarriage.  

First however I do want to talk about a few experiences that I feel are particularly unique to the emotional grief we experience with a miscarriage.

1. Your grieving is mostly hidden to the outside world.

      If you waited to not tell people until you had that first successful appointment then many people don’t know of your loss.  You feel it wholeheartedly with your body yet no one can see a difference.  It is hard to even let people know about it as it doesn’t casually come up in conversation.  

After my first miscarriage, I had to deliver the news to family that “Surprise, we were pregnant, but I just miscarried.”  

I decided when we got pregnant again, I would tell my closest people right away.  I wanted that baby to be known and remembered if something happened.  

I have not been shy in telling people my story yet so many people have no idea of my loss.  The more I talk to women the more I realize there are so many moms that are carrying miscarriage grief. 

2.  You are left with so much uncertainty and doubt about yourself as a woman.

      You go through the various stages of grief from anger, to denial, to sadness but because this is something that your body didn’t “do right” it can leave you in a bad place of beating yourself up and feeling like a failure.  

What did I do wrong?  Was it too much exercising?  Can I ever have a child?  Is there something not right about my body?  The questions can go on and on.  

Going down this road of thoughts isn’t good.  My steps below will help you combat this and protect your mindset and outlook.  

3.  Certain situations will bring that grief back to the surface.

    I think this is true of any loss.  A memory, a smell, an item can make your grief fresh in a blink of an eye.  The few situations that are unique to dredging up your emotions after a miscarriage include:


Seeing other women pregnant.  I am happy for them but it is hard to see what I have lost.  This for me has been strongest up until my due date has passed.
Having someone ask if when you are planning on having a baby or the next child.  They are usually strangers who are being kind in the conversation but it definitely brings a stab of pain.  
Trying to decide if you want to get pregnant again or even during your next pregnancy.  Your grief can cause fear and hinder the experience.  

There is Healing and Hope After Miscarriage

Despite the loss I have experienced recently I can humbly say I have maintained a strong positive outlook and mindset.  I have not succumbed to my grief and have found a way to turn my heartbreak into joy and a blessing.  

What has been my secret?  How have I found healing and hope after miscarriage?

With the 4 “G’s.”  Guidance, Grace, Goals and most of all Gratitude.

1. Guidance  

    During tough times you must seek guidance.  You need someone to light the path for you when you can’t see through the mist. Here are three places of guidance.


God.  Seek His guidance and cling to His promises through scripture and prayer 
My community: Find and talk to friends who have gone through miscarriage.  It is so healing to vent to someone who understands. Also my husband was a huge support as he would check in on me and we could talk about our loss together.  
Experts:  Get guidance from experts like therapist or councilors.  This also includes seeking out fertility experts if you feel you need answers to supporting a healthy pregnancy in the future.  Don’t let fear hold you back to reach out when you need help.   

2. Goals and Grace

Right around the time of my miscarriage I started this practice of goals, grace and gratitude.  It came from a company training with Danelle Delgado who champions improving your mindset through the 4 “G’s”.  (She also has 1 other “G”  of growth.) 

Little did I know how much healing and hope this practice would offer me.  

The practice is one that you must do daily and includes writing down 3 goals with specific details for each goal.  When dealing with grief, these goals can be a life line to keep you focused on what you want to achieve and get you moving forward.  

The grace part is writing down something you need to let go or forgive for that day.  Many times during my healing it was letting go of my sadness or disappointment.  Just by acknowledging that in writing, it released me of that feeling of failure. 


3. GRATITUDE

And the most healing and hope after miscarriage came from the daily practice of gratitude journaling.  

Along with my goals and grace, each day I write 10 things I am grateful for.  The number is high because it causes you to stretch your brain. You really take notice of all the little things in your life that are good.   

When you fill your brain with thoughts of goodness, you leave little room for self-defeating thoughts.  



What to fill your mind with for healing and hope after miscarriage

Conclusion

Despite having 2 of my positive pregnancy tests lead to heartbreak, I am so grateful for it.  Why?  Because of my miscarriage experiences,  I have done something that never would have happened otherwise.   

I began the process of starting this blog and becoming an entrepreneur serving women to help them be healthy and well so that they can nurture a thriving family.  

Practicing the “Gs” daily lit a fire of belief and desire to make a difference in this world with my unique experiences to share.  

It gave me healing and hope after miscarriage and it can do the same for you no matter what loss you are dealing with.

Building your mindset and belief in yourself through gratitude and goals sets in motion a powerful force to serve others and make a difference in the world.  

The grief is still there and the loss I will carry with me the rest of my life.  I still cry and feel strong emotions. (see the YouTube version in this post if you doubt me.) But the difference is that my loss has been harnessed in a way that builds me up and brings me joy.  

What blessing will these steps open up to you?  I can’t wait to see the difference you can make if you implement this daily practice. 

Don’t you agree that our joy is the best way to honor our lost babies?

More Resources For You

Grab your Free Goals and Gratitude Journaling Page by Joining my Facebook Group where women like you gather to support each other in their wellness journey.  

Wondering what Supplements might be best to improve your health and wellbeing?  Take my free assessment here!

Iron Supplement I loved as it didn’t constipate and has vitamin C with it to improve absorption.  

GLA, A supplement to support a healthy menstrual cycle


Dawn Zurcher
Dawn Zurcher

An experienced elementary music teacher turned homeschool mom to 3 adorable girls, Dawn loves sharing with other moms how to be healthy, happy and confident through the ups and downs of motherhood. She provides workshops to help mothers get started strong in homeschool, parenting and wellness. You will find her learning alongside her children or volunteering in their learning community.

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